Diary Entry 6

Text and pictures by Katy Hawkins

Unfortunately I've been unable to write the blog for the past 2 weeks as I somehow managed to get Salmonella (which I had half thought was a made-up illness used to ward off children from licking the bowl when making cakes) so I ended up spending a week in the Gastroenterologie ward in Klinikum Friedrichshain (a hospital with very beautiful grounds, fit for a picnic!) - during which time I slowly graduated from feeling very sorry for myself to a little too contented at the 3 meals in bed life.

Then the day after I got back from hospital I received a letter from the company that I work for -  already guessing what it might say I got my poor house-mate, who I barely speak with,to confirm my suspicions, he politely rephrased the letter..."they're going to cancel you contract"...I am not a sales person and I could never make peace with the sound of my voice on the phone trying to sell something I didn't believe in, or completely understand, or want to understand (Adwords, SEO, ??), but to send a cowardly letter to someone fresh out of hospital in a language  they did not profess to know (I did get the gist but the details as to why went right over my head) seems a bit "off".

I have not been fired before and didn’t know how to act on returning from sick leave to complete my two weeks notice. Super cheerful and nonchalant? Appear distraught and attempt to make someone feel guilty? I contemplated pretending not to have received the letter but this plan is flawed on a multitude of levels.  Now, as it turns out I will be paid for my notice but not expected to work!

So I am back to looking for a job in Berlin. I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to spending my life on Craigslist, The Local, Toytown etc. and that if I ever found myself struggling for work again I'd call it quits and just go home, knowing how competitive it is to find work. This problem gets exponentially bigger as a result of the ever rising number of expats trying to make this city their temporal home, apparent in the number of recently emergent services offering advice to newcomers and integration support. Despite this all, I still don't know if I can leave. I am too in love with Berlin I think- but is it is a compromising love...

So again I am faced with the limited options of: teach English, Childcare, Sales or...try for something I actually care about, ultimately another 400 Euro Internship and having no money again. Or scrape together the funds to do an intensive German course at the Volksschule, the best option I imagine even if it is probably unfeasible.

Any other ideas? All welcome in the comments below.

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